All That You Can't Leave Behind
by anngraham
Summary: A deal with a outside scientist goes awry and leads to a life changing experience. Has violence and slash.


**Disclaimer: **Standard disclaimer applies here. I don't own these characters, (although I can certainly dream), the producers and creators of Swamp Thing do. No money is being made off this story.

**Notes:** The songs are Walk On by U2 and Cherry Popsicle by Jann Arden.

**All That You Can't Leave Behind**

_Love is not the easy thing  
The only baggage you can bring  
Is all that you can't leave behind_

The jarring ring of the telephone intruded upon the silence of the night. After a few minutes, a light snapped on, chasing away the soothing darkness. A hand reached out from a tangle of blankets, fumbling blindly for the phone.

"Bloody hell!" Arcane cursed as his reaching arm knocked over a glass of water, sending it to the floor in several pieces. Finally he managed to snatch up the receiver, mercifully putting an end to the raucous noise "This had better be good!" he snarled.

The Doctor paused, "Who is this? ... No! ... I certainly will not ..." Sitting up, Arcane swung his legs out of bed. "Listen, I don't ... How long ago?" A calculating look entered his eyes, voice becoming noticeably more calm and receptive. "Alright ... Yes... I'll bring it ... Expect me in two hours." Absently he replaced the receiver; *this could work out to be quite advantageous. Unexpected perhaps, but then my genius can overcome any obstacle*_._ Standing, he stretched briefly before heading for the intercom.

"Graham," he hit the button, "I need you in my quarters. Immediately!" Severing the connection without waiting for a reply, he quickly stepped into the bathroom. Turning on the tap, and splashing cold water on his face Arcane could feel his remaining sleepiness drain away. Grabbing a toothbrush, he grimaced at the unpleasant sensation, brushing his teeth with a vengeance to get rid of the foul taste. Glancing up at the mirror, he noticed for the first time the way his hair stuck out at odd angles. Running a comb through the mess didn't appear to help much, in fact only served to make it worse. *No choice then*_, _the Doctor got out the bottle of mouse and gel and proceeded to force his hair to stay in one position. *There, that's better*,Arcane surveyed himself critically, *but not by much*.

Heading back into the bedroom, the Doctor hurriedly stripped off his black, silk pajamas, leaving them lying in the middle of the floor. Searching through the closet, pushing past the suits and clothing more matching to formal occasions, he finally decided to go with a plain pair of black pants and a dark brown shirt for simplicities sake. He was just zipping up the pants when the elevator doors opened and Graham shuffled out.

"It's about bloody time!" Arcane snapped irritably, glaring at the man, pointedly ignoring the almost visible air of exhaustion that followed his assistant. "You have twenty minutes to get ready."

"Where ..." Graham suppressed a yawn, " ... where are we going?"

"Oddly enough, Graham, explaining the situation to you isn't among my topmost priorities right now." Arcane snapped impatiently, pulling on his shirt. "Just be down in the lab in twenty minutes – and don't be late!" Buttoning up his shirt he gestured for Graham to pin on a broach he couldn't quite get on straight. A request to which his assistant hastily complied.

Fingers shaking slightly from exhaustion Graham worked at pinning the broach in place. His brain absently noted the man's comforting familiar scent as he struggled with the clasp. Finally managing to latch the pin place, he stepped back and looked up at the Doctor, waiting silently to see if he was needed for anything else.

Walking over to a mirror, Arcane looked to see if the brooch was on straight. "Did you finish correlating the results from the Dobson experiment?" Satisfied, he turned his attention back to his waiting assistant.

"Yes. I, ah, I finished them about ten minutes ago." *After working on it for the past twenty hours*,he continued silently.

"Jolly good!" Arcane turned away, clearly dismissing Graham.

Shaking his head Graham retreated to the elevator, pressing the button. *Of course the fact that I haven't slept at all doesn't mean a thing*. Stepping in he leaned dejectedly against the wall, breathing deeply in a vain effort to relieve some of the tiredness. The doors slipped open and Graham dragged himself out, shuffling down the hall to his quarters.

Blinking slowly Graham stood just inside the door. Shaking himself somewhat alert, he walked past the bed, unable to resist giving it a longing look. The comfortable mattress, soft pillows, and warm blanket all seemed to call to him as he passed it. 'Come on Graham,' it said (in a voice that sounded oddly like the Doctor's), 'you know you want to lie down. We're waiting for you – all nice and comfy.' Graham shook his head in disgust, determinedly ignoring the bed, and all thoughts of sexy British accents.

*Must stay awake, must stay awake*. Repeating the mantra to himself, Graham stepped into the bathroom, and stripped off his clothes. Turning on the shower, twisting the cold tap all the way, he steeled himself to get in. The frigid water drove all traces of tiredness temporarily out of his body. Shivering violently, he hastily turned the water off and wrapped a warm fluffy towel around himself. Briskly drying off, Graham stepped back into the main part of his room, quickly searching his closet for something to wear. Pulling out a shirt and sweater, he reached for a pair of slacks, only to realize that none were hung up. Casting a look over at his laundry bag, Graham resisted the urge to slap his forehead, *damn, forgot to do the laundry again*. Scowling he stalked over to the dresser, taking out socks, underwear, and a pair of jeans he almost never wore. Yanking his clothes on, Graham took a moment to survey his image in the mirror, grimacing at how haggard he looked – and how jeans didn't look at all professional. Sighing he pulled on his favourite sweater, a cream coloured wool one, for the extra warmth. *Oh well, guess it really doesn't make a difference. Anyway*, he though somewhat defiantly, *I should be sleeping right now, not working ... it's not like I get paid overtime or anything*.

On the way out, he couldn't help but give one last, longing look at his bed ... his warm, comfortable bed. Unhappily he shut the door to his room, and on the chance of getting any sleep anytime soon. Stepping into the elevator, he leaned against the side, closing his eyes for a least a few minutes of rest before it arrived at the lab.

Arcane looked up briefly as the doors hissed open, one eyebrow raising slightly at the unusual sight of his assistant dressed in casual wear. One small part of his brain registered the fact that jeans really did suit Graham, while the rest was busy scowling at the man. Carefully he finished packing a small vial, filled with amber liquid, into a specially designed case with a small foam cavity and snapped the lock shut. "All ready then, Graham?" Not bothering to wait for a reply he snagged his assistant by the arm and pushed him into the elevator.

"Sir," Graham began carefully, remembering the way the Doctor had snapped at him the last time he had questioned him, "where are we going?"

"To attend a meeting with destiny," Arcane replied cryptically, darting an amused look at the confusion that showed plainly on his assistant's face. Graham was opening his mouth to ask another question when they reached the garage level. Arcane immediately headed for a dark green jeep, the one that was reserved for longer trips outside the Complex then just into town.

"Here," Arcane tossed a set of keys over to Graham, who barely managed to catch them, "you're driving. Get in!"

Graham fumbled with the keys, once again almost dropping them before he could unlock the door. Reaching over he unlocked the passenger's side, carefully avoiding the Doctor's patronizing stare. *This is going to be a long night*,he sighed despondently. Starting the jeep, he carefully backed out of the garage. Pausing just outside the main gates he looked over at his employer, "Which way, Sir?"

"Drive out to the main highway," Arcane directed shortly, "We are headed to a small town called Silent Falls, a rather quaint little place about three hours drive from here."

"Yes, Sir," Taking the turn-off to the main highway, he drove as carefully as possible, *the way my luck is running I'll probably have an accident before we even get out of Houma*_._ Graham darted a quick glance at the Doctor, who was seemingly absorbed in reading through some papers he had brought. However, he noticed that his employer's eyes weren't focused on what he was reading. Catching the fleeting look of worry that flit across Arcane's face, Graham felt his stomach sink. *Anything that can cause Dr. Arcane to worry has got to be very serious ... and very bad*.

Hesitantly, Graham broached the subject, "Umm Sir?"

"Yes, what is it Graham?" His tone conveyed less than normal irritation at the interruption from his assistant. A fact that Graham took as a good sign.

"What so important in Silent Falls?"

"That, my dear Graham, is what we are going to find out." Arcane turned to more fully face his assistant. "I received an interesting phone call tonight, from Dr. Richards – a rather prominent scientist in the field of Toxicology. He's been busy developing an experimental drug that I am very much interested in." The Doctor folded his arms, relaxing back against the seat. "The drug, Haliaxan Phealine, has the unique property of bringing a person's fantasies to life through a complex set of illusions. Which, I would, assume, is what prompted its nickname Dreamer."

"Sounds great, Sir." Graham enthused.

"Yes, it is great, Graham," Arcane smiled in satisfaction, "Just think of the possibilities Graham, I could rid myself of Holland simply by giving him a dose of the drug. He would undoubtedly start imagining he's with his wife, or the lovely Ms. Fisk." The Doctor sneered, "The jolly green giant won't know or care what's happening to his precious Swamp."

"That's terrific Doctor," Graham frowned, another thought coming to him, "But why are we going to Silent Falls so early in the morning?"

"Dr. Richards has made a sudden break-though." Arcane spoke slowly, something bothering him about the conversation, something that was off by just a little. "He claims that he can now control and manipulate what a person sees while under the influence of the drug. The good Doctor also claims that several parties, interested in the drug, broke into his lab tonight and attempted to steal it." Frowning, he absently brushed a piece of lint from his shirt. "Richards insisted I come down personally to retrieve all the samples and research he has on Dreamer."

"It seems odd that he would call you, Sr." Graham snuck a quick peek at Arcane. "I mean, wouldn't it have been easier to, well, to call the police?"

"Graham," Arcane sighed in exasperation, "could you, for once attempt to demonstrate more than a minimum of intelligence. You don't call the police in on a situation of this delicacy and magnitude. Involving the authorities would lead to an investigation. An investigation, I might add, which would eliminate any chance of my taking advantage of Dreamer without being implicated should I choose to make use of it."

"Oh," was all Graham dared say, seeing that the Doctor had once again lapsed into silence. Sighing he fixed his attention back on driving, switching the wipers on as the first drop of rain fell on the windshield. The road seemed to blur in from of his eyes as the rain literally poured down, falling so dense and heavy he had to considerably reduce speed. *Just freaking peachy! What else can go wrong?*A boom of thunder sounded in the distance and a steak of lightening flashed across the sky. Graham wearily shut his eyes, *I just had to ask?*

Shivering from the sudden drop in temperature, Graham hastily switched the heat up to drive away the chill. The warm air and black road combined to make his eyes drop tiredly, his earlier exhaustion returning with a vengeance. The road became more treacherous and hard to see with every moment that passed. Staring at the road, Graham was unaware that his eyelids stayed closed longer and longer each time he blinked. A black tide crept over him and drew him down into an ever increasing pool of pure exhaustion ...

... with a start Graham's eyes snapped open, a pair of headlights practically blinding him before he managed to pull the car back onto the right side on the road.

"Bloody hell, Graham!" Arcane all by shouted, hands clenching tightly on the armrests. "What the blazes do you think you were doing?"

"I .. I'm sorry, Sir," Graham tightened his grip on the wheel, voice shaking, "I .. I must have dozed off."

"Dozed off Graham! DOZED OFF!" Arcane's voice turned dropped dangerously, "You're the bloody one driving!"

"I know, I know," Graham's voice cracked, completely unnerved by the near accident. "I'm SO sorry. It's just that ... I've, I've been so .. tired ..."

"Pull over, Graham!" Arcane ordered shortly. Graham swallowed, swiftly obeying the Doctor's command, *I'm dead!*

"Don't look so melodramatic Graham," Arcane snapped, seeing the fear on his assistant's face, which normally would have gave him a happy tingle, but now made him feel as if he was kicking a hurt puppy. "We're only going to trade positions. I believe I am eminently more qualified to get us to our destination safely."

"Oh! Right, Sir," Graham let out the breath he'd been holding, gratefully sliding over to the passenger seat as the Doctor got out. "Thank you, Dr. Arcane."

"Don't thank me, Graham," Arcane pulled back onto the highway, "I actually want to arrive at Silent Falls alive and in one piece. A task which you don't seem capable of carrying out."

"Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir," Graham wearily sank against his seat. Long as Arcane wasn't yelling at him because of the near accident he wasn't going to be bothered by what in reality was a small insult. Despite the adrenalin still running through his veins it didn't take Graham long to drift into some much needed rest.

Risking taking his eyes off the road Arcane glanced over at his assistant, seeing that the man was fast asleep, head pillowed against the window. As uncomfortable as the position appeared the Doctor was surprised that Graham could even fall asleep, let alone so deeply. *Graham must really have been tired ... 'suppose I should let the bugger sleep as long as possible*. Flicking the radio on, keeping the volume low, Arcane drove as quickly as he dared. The miles to seemed to disappear in the warm, cozy atmosphere of the car.

Slowly Graham's brain inched itself towards consciousness, its first impressions of warmth and a low, pleasant voice singing on the radio. Fuzzily Graham listened to the song:

_I was so in love  
I lost myself  
I was so far gone I could not get out  
I disappeared I slipped away  
I was so in love with you baby_

His eyes unconsciously slid over to Dr. Arcane, taking in his employer's tense profile as the words made his hands clench into fists. A cloud settled over Graham's mind as he continued to listen to the song, the woman's voice seeming to ache with sadness. The air of sadness wasn't broken until he ripped his gaze away from Arcane. *Get a grip, Graham!* Fingernails digging into his palm, he breathed deeply and calmly, exhaling the last of the lingering melancholy the song had evoked.

"So, um, Sir ..." Graham broke the comfortable silence in the car, "the Dobson experiment – was everything, er, okay?"

"Graham," Arcane shook his head irritably, snapping a quick look over at his now awake assistant, "the day you can utter a single sentence without stammering or stuttering in some way is the day I retire from the scientific world!"

"Sorry, Sir," Graham slouched further down in his seat, wishing fervently that he'd just stayed asleep, "I .. I've just always had trouble with stammering since I ..."

"Please, spare me the details, Graham," Arcane muttered in a bored tone, "Surprising I know, but I have absolutely no desire to listen to you reminisce about any childhood problems you might have had."

"Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir," Graham grimaced, *if I do any more apologising I might as well be a Hallmark card!*

"Anyway," Arcane's voice broke in on his thoughts, "to answer your question – yes, the Dobson experiment was a complete and utter success," the Doctor smiled smugly, "As was expected. It is, after all, one of my inventions."

"You're a genius, Sir,"

"Why yes ... I am!" Arcane flashed a brilliant, if brief smile at Graham.

Graham responded with a comforted smile of his own. "So," Graham broached the next subject that was bothering him, "why did you bring a sample with you?"

"It's to act as a trade with Dr. Richards. A barter so to speak." As opposed to being annoyed by the question, Arcane's mood seemed to actually lighten. "I get Dreamer, and the good Doctor receives a sample of the Dobson drug. Or should I say a copy – a partial copy." A self-satisfied smirk appeared on his face. "Richards is a fool to actually think that I would just hand him a weapon of this magnitude. He won't be able to produce one single, useable iota of the drug without my help. Which is available, for a price."

"You, ah, you really think the Dobson drug is going to be useful?" Graham asked, stifling a yawn. The little sleep he had gotten had only served to make him realize exactly how tired he still was.

"Yes, I ... I think it would." Arcane mocked his assistant, "Don't act stupider then you look, Graham – I know it's hard, but please try!" Rolling his eyes, Arcane spelled it out for the man. "A drug which blocks conscious knowledge or what is right or wrong, moral or immoral! That leaves the subject open to suggestion and influence – now how could such a drug be advantageous? I just don't know!"

Graham cringed at the obvious sarcasm, pushing himself as far into his seat as he could. "Er, yes, Sir."

Mentally reminding himself not to speak until spoken to, he spotted the exit to Silent Falls through the driving rain. "We're here, Sir!" Graham reported in relief before he could stop himself.

"Why thank you, Graham," Arcane took the turn-off, throwing a scathing glare at his assistant, "I never would have noticed!"

Graham wisely kept quiet, staring out the window as the dark, tree lined streets went by. Distancing himself from the strained silence that had developed, Graham concentrated on the old brick houses he could see through the gloom. With green lawns, perfect gardens, and neat grounds the houses struck a chord of jarring normalcy in Graham's mind. *I could have this*_ –_ he stared vaguely out the window – *I could have a house, a family_* –_ Shaking his head ruefully Graham focused his attention back on the road in front of him. *And I would be miserably unhappy too. I've never been the family type – and I certainly don't want to start now!*

A group of buildings loomed up out of the dark. Big and squatty, they seemed to hug the ground menacingly. *I hope this isn't it ...*

"This is it," Arcane announced, turning off and parking in front of the largest of the buildings. He turned the engine off, and the silence seemed to descend on them, broken only by the soft hiss of the rain and the dull clicking of the car. "Well, Graham," Arcane broke the quiet, opening the door and getting out of the car, "don't just sit there like a lump man ... " glaring at his assistant, shoulders hunching uncomfortably as cold, clammy rain forced its way inside his collar, "... get out!"

"Yes, Sir," Muttering, Graham wearily hauled himself from the car, stretching briefly. The fresh, rain scented air was cool and invigorating. Breathing deeply he stepped over to Arcane's side, craning his head back to get a good look at the building.

"Rather a depressing place, isn't it?" Arcane frowned as lightening ripped across the sky, starkly lighting up the surrounding area for a brief second. "Come on," He grabbed Graham's arm, hauling his assistant with him up the steps, "there's no use in standing out here in the rain. Let's go in a reassure Dr. Richards – before he does something stupid like calling in the authorities."

Together they carefully approached the front door, finding it unlocked and slightly ajar. Graham shuffled forward reluctantly as the Doctor pushed the doors open. Arcane paused abruptly on the threshold, turning back and gesturing his assistant to go in first. Grumbling silently Graham made his way inside, where the red, eerie glow of emergency lights provided the only illumination.

"I don't like this, Sir." Graham spoke in a hushed whisper, "Something feels wrong."

"You don't like anything, Graham," Arcane dismissed lightly, pushing past the man.

Graham had to clench his teeth to hold back a retort. Glaring at the Doctor's back he followed his employer down the hall, feeling more and more certain that something was wrong with the whole setup. _Why isn't Dr. Richards here to greet Dr. Arcane? He was so eager to hand over his research. _Warily, Graham kept an eye on every door they passed, the very air seeming to hold its breath in anticipation. He felt like he was waiting for someone to jump out from behind a door and shout 'boo!' at them.

"I really think we should go, Sir!" Graham tugged on Arcane's sleeve, trying to get his attention.

"Don't be such a coward, Graham!" Arcane scowled grabbing his assistant by the arm and forcing him to walk ahead. "The lab should be at the end of this hall ... now stop this nonsense and lets get this over with."

With a last mistrustful look behind him Graham reluctantly headed for the door, where he could dimly see a strip of light streaming through a crack. Pausing with his hand against the frame, he listened carefully for any sounds.

"Do get on with it, Graham," With a small push Arcane forced Graham to enter the room, stepping in behind him.

"Ah, Dr. Arcane," a quiet voice spoke up as Graham stood blinking against the sudden brightness in the room. Squinting, he could barely make out a small man, with dark brown hair and almost black eyes staring at them through wire-rimmed glasses. "I'm glad you could make it."

"Dr. Richards," Arcane greeted, stepping forward and glancing around the lab at the neatly ordered benches and the racks of test tubes and beakers – unbroken test tubes and breakers. "I must say it certainly doesn't appear as is this lab has been broken into." Raising an eyebrow he stared at Richards. Behind him, he could feel Graham tense, hoping his assistant wasn't about to do or say anything stupid.

"I've managed to clean up most of the mess," Richards waved his hand arm, absently reaching up to fix his glasses. "Who is that?" He asked abruptly, pointing towards Graham.

"This is my assistant, Graham," Arcane crossed his arms, body language practically screaming his impatience, "I'm an extremely busy man Dr. Richards. I suggest that we move things forward."

"By all means, Doctor," Richards smiled, rubbing his hands quickly against his pants, "Did, ah, did you bring your delightful little drug with you – as we agreed?"

"Yes, yes," Arcane scowled, making an impatient gesture at the case he was carrying, "Let's just get on with this Richards! I don't have all day!"

"Of course, of course, Doctor. I'd hate to inconvenience you for any longer," He plucked a small vial of clear liquid off the bench and held it up, "But I'm afraid this is as close as you are going to come to owning Dreamer." Richards smiled cheerfully as he pressed a small button by his side.

"What the bloody hell are you talking –" Arcane was violently cut off as the door behind him burst open and spilled out two large, dangerous looking men.

_I knew it! _Graham barely had time to even suck in a breath before the first man was upon him, fist striking a glancing blow on his jaw. The blow had enough force to knock him off his feet. Hitting the ground Graham was unable to get to his feet in time to avoid being picked up like a rag doll. Vainly struggling to get free he was thrown against the wall as if he weighed no more then a feather. Pain exploded along his nerves as his head made impact with the wall. Sliding the rest of the way to the floor, Graham collapsed in a heap, unable make a sound the pain was so intense. Colours sparked and danced in front of his eyelids before merciful darkness swept in and carried him down into unconsciousness.

Arcane was caught off guard by the first man's sudden move towards Graham, and by the way Graham was effortlessly thrown against the wall. Even from this distance he could hear the sickening thud of impact. Before he could make a move either to help Graham, a momentary impulse he gained quick control over, or make a bid for the door and freedom, Arcane was grabbed from behind in a grip that would put King Kong to shame. A huge hand wrapped itself around his throat, choking off his air supply.

"Don't move," a low voice hissed in his ear, "or I'll break your neck like a dry twig."

"What – what the bloody hell to you think you're doing?" Arcane managed to choke out, glaring at Richards while being very careful not to struggle against the hand that tightened in warning around his neck.

"What I think I'm doing, my dear Doctor," Richards gloated, bending down to retrieve the case that Arcane had dropped when he was grabbed, "is making a fool out of you, and stealing this wonderful little drug you've developed of course."

"You –" Arcane was cut off as the hand around his neck tightened to the point of choking off his air. Coughing, his vision started to darken as the constricting pressure didn't ease.

"Don't kill him," Richards snapped irritably, "I need him alive .. for now anyway."

"Yes, boss," Arcane could dimly hear the man's rumbling voice through the curtain of unconsciousness that was swiftly descending over his mind.

"Take them both to the storage room!" Dr. Richards ordered, placing the case on the bench nearest to him, "Make sure they don't escape .. I'll be needing their services later." Grinning he opened the case, reverently taking out the small vial inside. "Yes!" He smiled in satisfaction. Suddenly his gaze switched back to the two men still waiting. "Well, what are you waiting for," he scowled, "Get them out of here."

"Yes, Sir." Releasing Arcane's throat the man switched his grip the Doctor's arm, grasping it tightly and dragging him out of the room. "Don't make any fast moves, Doc," He warned the still groggy Arcane. The other man picked up Graham and slung him effortlessly over one massive shoulder, following along behind. Together they strode down the hall to a large door on the right hand side. Pushing Arcane in roughly, who stumbled and fell the moment his arm was released, the other man unceremoniously dropped Graham on the floor.

"Don't even think about causing trouble," the man with the rumbling voice warned, "Me and Harry over here," he gestured with a huge thumb at the man next to him, "will be guarding the door. And if I catch you trying anything, I will personally break your neck with great pleasure." Slamming the door shut, the sound of a lock snicking shut echoed loudly in the empty room.


End file.
